Cryptozoology on the Assiniboine

I've been making the walk from my apartment on Garry St. to Osbourne Village for a little over a week now. It takes me along the banks of the MIGHTY ASSINIBOINE! River. I make this journey because the area around my apartment is essentially dead, while the area around Osbourne Village is essentially alive. Picture if you will Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan -- the barren surface of the moon vs. its teeming, luscious inner core after the Genesis Project has had its way with it; the juxtaposition is apt. It's a 10 minute walk, but the 10 minutes makes all the difference.

The first time I saw the sign along the banks of the MIGHTY ASSINIBOINE! I thought, "Ha, clever vandals." The second time I saw the sign, I thought, "How long has that sign been like that, and why hasn't anyone fixed it yet?" Considering the sign is located between the Legislature and the proud statue of Louis Riel that overlooks the banks of the MIGHTY ASSINIBOINE!, you'd think the civil servants would've been right on top of that business as soon as it hit. Doesn't this area deserve some respect? Doesn't anyone look after it? Isn't correcting this (admittedly humorous) prank someone's responsibility?

And then I thought, "Wait. Someone has taken the trouble to deface BOTH sides of this sign. Someone else has let it stand. Could it be a message of some kind?" Loch Ness has the Loch Ness Monster; the Okinagan Lake has Ogopogo; Lake Manitoba has Manipogo; Lake Champlain has Champ. Perhaps the MIGHTY ASSINIBOINE! has its own resident sea-monster, and some local cryptozoologist has taken it upon him/herself to revise area signage as a helpful tourist service. Just follow the arrow, and you too might catch a glimpse of the mysterious ASSINIBOINE RIVER SPIRIT WATERBUS COCK! Like its counterpart denizens of the deep, it's often spotted in foggy conditions, a smooth small head attached to a snake-like neck breaking the water's surface and lazily rolling under again before your camera's autofocus can properly wrack.

So from now on I'll keep my eyes peeled as I daily stroll the length of the green river, looking for signs of our modern-day plesiosaur, camera at the ready. But "Assiniboine River Spirit Waterbus Cock" is a mouthful, and the creature deserves a nickname. If the Loch Ness Monster gets the diminutive Nessie, I think there can be only one choice for the moniker of our local monster: Ass-Cock.