Like a fridge full of turbid water

Here's the deal: I like Toronto tap water. Winnipeg tap water? Not so much. There's something a little... funky about it. The city's own water website even admits there might be a bit of a problem here:

Manitoba Health and Manitoba Water Stewardship regulate the quality of our drinking water using the Manitoba Drinking Water Safety Act and the Guidelines for Canadian Drinking Water Quality .

We have good quality drinking water that usually meets most of the more than 80 guidelines. However, we are not always able to meet the guidelines for turbidity (clearness of the water), odour, and disinfection by-products. Disinfection by-products are formed when chlorine reacts with organic matter (e.g., vegetation) in the water.

How do you like that? "Usually meets most". What the hell does that mean? Does it mean sometimes Winnipeg water meets NONE of the guidelines? That's not encouraging. Coupled with the flavour problem, that's enough to drive a guy to all bottled water, all the time. Which is a problem of its own. Because my bottled water of choice is Gerolsteiner. I like the flavour. I like the packaging. Bold and classy, all the way around. But the local Safeway doesn't carry it. So I have to choose between Perrier and San Pellegrino for my hydration needs (yes, if I drink bottled water I like it bubbly). Neither of which quite measures up.

I thought I'd try to figure out what gives Gerolsteiner its flavour edge. Turns out it has more than double the mineral content of San Pellegrino, and more than quadruple the mineral content of Perrier. What does that say about me? Does it mean I have a mineral defficiency, one that drives me to suckle on the German springwater teat? Would I be better off just licking exposed Canadian Shield?

(Interesting to note that San Pellegrino has such a high sulphate content (549.2 mg/L) that it has laxative properties (which kick in at 500 mg/L). Is this a selling point in Italy? Must be something to do with flushing out all that pasta that tends to bung up the works.)

Luckily, Winnipeg is building a new water treatment plant. So if I stick around until 2007 I'll be able to enjoy water that really meets the national guidelines and is even free of the diarrhea-causing bug Cryptosporidium. Can't wait!